May I Suggest Knee Pads?

October 29th, 2019

   I knew it was going to be a tough job at my age moving eight cubic yards of mulch from my driveway up a 25-foot, 45-degree-angled bank in my new back yard.

Mulching this bank caused a case of prepatellar bursitis.

   I took my time, didn’t slip or fall, and got the job done by making about 160 trips up the hill over three days with five-gallon mulch buckets in each hand.

   So what went wrong this time? My right knee.

   I noticed the kneecap was a little sore the Saturday evening after finishing the job. I figured I probably bruised it on a rock or something.

   Three days of progressive swelling despite ice, rest, and copious ibuprofen landed me in yet another UPMC orthopedics office. The diagnosis: prepatellar bursitis.

   That’s a fancy way of saying I abused the padding (bursa) under the kneecap so much that it enflamed, leaked fluid, puffed up painfully, and made it almost impossible to walk.

   The ortho doc drained the knee with a rather large needle (which helped), but two days later, the whole leg was puffed up.

   A trip to urgent care generated a diagnosis of Lyme disease and a prescription for antibiotics. That didn’t turn out to be the case, but the antibiotics did fix what probably was the case — an infection in the leg related to the draining.

   Anyway, the swelling is almost gone, but I thought I’d mention my experience since prepatellar bursitis is something that apparently happens to gardeners more than “regular” people.

   It’s a common malady of anyone who kneels a lot… plumbers, roofers, carpet layers, coal miners, and gardeners, according to the OrthoInfo website. Runners and athletes who get whacked a lot in the knee also tend to get it.

   In my case, I didn’t do anything obviously or suddenly bad. There was no warning of impending trouble, no sudden stab of pain.

   The culprit was simply kneeling on the hard ground over and over again.

   I was doing that because I’m prone to back pain if I bend over more than a prescribed number of times per day. Unfortunately, I don’t know what that prescribed number is until I go, “Oooohhh!” and end up waddling to the sofa.

   So to avoid bending, I was kneeling and sitting to dump and spread the mulch.

   I favor my right knee for kneeling. I know that not only because that’s the one that got “bursitised” but because I almost instantly wear holes in the right knee of any pair of long pants I wear in the garden.

   The solution to bursitis, said my ortho doc, is to take it easy, elevate the knee as often as possible, and take ibuprofen until things are back to normal. He also advised wearing knee pads when gardening.

Pads come in basic foam, left, or in sci-fi-like forms like the Husky pads at right with Gel Foam Stabilizer, right.

   There are lots of pads out there. Home centers, mass merchants, and garden centers sell basic, strap-on, light-foam ones for as little as $5 to $10.

   But there are more elaborate ones, too, such as the $50 Gel Pro Grip Pads with Comfort Hinge at Lowe’s and the $41 Husky pads that have Gel Foam Stabilizer (whatever that is) and looks like something designed by Isaac Asimov.

   Amazon.com has a set that looks like a car tire called NoCry Professional Knee Pads with Heavy Duty Foam Padding and Comfortable Gel Cushion for $23.

   I have no idea which of those (or some other) is best, but some kind of pad makes sense because they’re cushioning a force that otherwise would fall on our poor bursae.

   I like the idea of strap-on pads because they go with you wherever you go.

   A website called Theme Country has reviews of what it calls the “Top 10 Knee Pads.” I don’t know how honest or contrived the information is, but the site describes and shows pictures of 10 different knee pads in one place, which is helpful.

   For those who don’t like strapping on what are essentially supplemental kneecaps, carry-along cushions and kneeling pads are available for as little as $8 to as much as $35.

   Some products go a step farther and attach metal frames to the kneeling pads to help you get up and down. Those generally cost in the $25 to $45 range.

   That sounds like a good idea, too. Although the way my body is double-crossing me lately, I’d probably hurt my elbow from pushing up and down on the frame too much.

   I’m just glad the mulch is in place… and so still is my kneecap.