Officially Old

October 9th, 2018

   It’s official.

Leona with balding old George.

   I’m old.

   So is my wife, Sue.

   We were both informed of that by our 5-year-old granddaughter, Leona.

   Leona was telling us one day about “regular grownups.”

   “What’s a regular grownup?” I asked.

   “It’s a grownup like Mommy and Daddy,” she said.

   “So what are Grammy and me?” I asked. “Are we regular, too?”

   “No,” she replied. “You’re old.”

   Leona went on to explain that people start out as babies, then they turn into kids, then they become teen-agers, then they become “regular grownups.” The last step in her mental life chart is “old.”

   Since 5-year-olds are brutally honest, there’s no getting around this one with hair coloring or wrinkle creams or baldness-hiding hats.

   I shouldn’t be too shocked by the arrival of this waypoint. Sue and I have been AARP members for years, we occasionally qualify for senior discounts, and this year I hit the milestone of Social-Security eligibility.

   So, yeah. It’s official at least for me.

   My gardening habits further nail down certified oldness. Here’s the difference between then and now.

   1.) Then: Garden non-stop all Saturday with no breaks, no lunch, no potty stops.

   Now: Ready for a rest after about 15 minutes.

   2.) Then: Benches in the yard are for ornamental purposes.

My benches get a lot more use these days.

   Now: Benches are a practical necessity. And well used.

   3.) Then: If there’s a weed, bend over and pull it.

   Now: If I’m going to bend over to pull that weed, is there more than one thing I can get done while I’m down there?

   4.) Then: I can easily knock off the whole to-do list today.

   Now: Why not let a few things for tomorrow?

   5.) Then: You can’t have too many annual flowers or trial plants. So what if it means more planting or watering?

   Now: Groundcovers are very nice plants.

   The evidence is clear. I’m no longer “regular.”

   I get sorer and more tired a lot quicker than even a few years ago, and I’m looking more and more for ways to save energy.

   But I’m not ready to phase out of gardening yet.

   It’s still full steam ahead. There’s just not as much steam in the engine.