Surprise Waterfalls

July 30th, 2019

   I like waterfalls.

Damage from the waterfalls I didn’t know I had.

   They make dramatic or soothing landscape features, and ones like Niagara and Iguaçu are some of most impressive features on the planet.

   However, I don’t care for waterfalls that materialize out of summer downpours and carry away everything in their path.

   It turns out that’s the type we have in our new Pittsburgh back yard.

   Like most of the other disasters we’ve faced since moving, no one mentioned the torrents that come gushing down our back bank every time it rains heavily.

   Water pours in an 8-foot-wide sheet from our neighbor’s property above, then cuts three snake-like channels into the bank as it rushes down.

   At the bottom, three muscular waterfalls shoot over a retaining wall that somehow has managed not to collapse. The force carries soil and mulch as much as 20 feet into the back yard.

   The pumpkins and sunflowers that I planted on the bank there in place of weeds didn’t stand a chance.

   The sheer amount of water coming down is enough to create a solid sheet of water that runs across the lawn, down a sidewalk, and down steps to the driveway, creating gushing falls on the steps, too.

   We’re not talking drainage here. These are torrents with enough force to move landscape stones the size of hoagie rolls and tear asphalt off the road at the end of my driveway.

   This has happened five times now since we moved six months ago.

   I’ve tried to mitigate some of it myself by installing catch basins, drainage pipes, and terraced walls, and while those have held and helped, there’s simply too much water for those to solve the problem.

More pop-up waterfalls coming down our steps and terrace.

   I’ve contacted my municipal officials to see if the borough can offer any help or guidance.

   It seems to me the real solution is to manage the water closer to the source – or at least before it gets to the edge of the bank and shifts into high gear.

   I’m not holding my breath.

   I may have to get used to pop-up waterfalls – or ignore them like previous homeowners apparently have done for the last 60 years.

   Or maybe I could invite the public and charge tickets to see Weigel Falls…